~Oath~

Heyy, guys.

WARNING:
It's a little personal...

Lots of cursing.

Sorry,

I'm human too.

Emotions, are a bitch aren't they?

You can do something you hate or love.

But somehow,

Your emotions always seem to resurface.

Like the bitch it is.

Lately,

I've chatted with a few people who can't give two fucks about life anymore.

After all the,

tears,

crying,

self harm,

and 

suicide thoughts.

They just breakdown.

They go to someone close to them,

And if anyone you know have said these 4 words to you...

You know you've lost them.

When they say these 4 words.

You know they'll never properly be same again.

I've had people coming up to me,

And I knew,

I wouldn't have them back properly.

When they say,

"I don't care anymore..."

You know you're too late.

They'll be sick of the tears they used to shed.

They wouldn't even bother about life anymore.

They couldn't give two fucking fucks about themselves.

And you know what hurts the most hearing them say the four words?!

They fucking smile.

That smile...

Was the smile I never wanted anyone else to use.

B'sides me.

I know,

from my experience and observation.

When they find that person to break that wall of their life.

Will I ever see the light in their eyes again.

Now,

I sit here and ask God.

What happened to all my wishes?

Then, 

I realised.

It was completely impossible to make that wish come true.

Or I'd be dead.

So, for now.

All I can do is be a friend.

All I can do is be the one that's there for you.

All I can do is be your shoulder to cry on.

All I can do is be the one to support you.

I have to,

Ignore all my emotions.

And I want to be that person,

To help walk beside you to cross that bridge.

Unless you have someone better.

I'm replaceable.

Unless I'm your last option.

I will grab you before you fall.

Or I could never live with myself.

 

Please, continue doing so.

You'd never know.

You'll find that someone.

But for now,

You'll have to deal with me.

This is my Oath to you.

-SimplyySarah-