~My Confession~

Heyy.... guys...

I promised, someone to do this...

So yeah...

I honestly, don't know what to say...

My life has been a weird twist of a roller coaster since I've gotten a hold of it... 

I can't seem to let go,

I have something on my mind even though it's something I shouldn't even worry about. 

Have you ever heard the quote,

"If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for,

He isn't fit to live." 

-Martin Luther King-

Well, I haven't found that reason,

So, what IS there to live for?

I know I've always said,

My hopes are high,

I have faith.

However, there's still a part of me that screams;

Just One Jump!

Just One Gulp!

Just One Slice!

And It's All Over... .

My heart and guts however,

Speaks differently.

Every time I think about it,

It's always, 

Someone will save you.

Someone will come to your rescue.

Will someone?

Anyone?

I never share my story to get sympathy or pity.

Please, doing that would be completely inconsiderate!

I know others have got it worse than I do,

All I want is someone to just snap me out of it.

Bring me back.

If it was ever possible...

I wonder what it feels like to actually fall in love.

Cause' Once Upon A Time,

I did.

But it was all a lie.

The irony is that the one who always wants to find love,

Finds it last,

But gives the BEST relationship advice.

Ever felt you were in a group of crowded people,

Even people you love,

But you still feel alone?

I get it.

A lot.

My pain is my own misery,

My scars are my own fault,

My bruises are my own memories,

My lyrics are my own stories.

Sometimes, 

I purposely put myself out there,

To see if anyone would remark or comment.

I would rebel against things I shouldn't do just to feel someone notices or at least cares.

However, doing these things with a "This-Is-Me" character, to see if anyone noticed.

I tend to bottle everything up,

Seal it and cover it up with a smile and laugh.

It's worked all this while...

It really isn't hard once you get used to it.

I'm different,
I'm weird.


My whole life,
I've been a listener,
If I cross that line and start talking,
People will start to think differently,
So, I keep to myself..

A lot.

It's useless trying to confide to others,

Honestly,

If I confide to someone,

That person will never confide to me.

They'll be thinking,

She has it bad, won't wanna add pressure.

I shouldn't say anything, she already has her own issues.

It'll only burden him.

Well, it'll actually let the other person know that you trust him as much as he trusts you,

I know I would.

I guess...

I don't see things a normal person should,

Which makes me a target.

I don't like that,

In any way,

At all.

I also take a lot of things people say bout' me to the heart.

I'm not perfect,

I'm insecure.

And literally...

About Everything.

I never liked how I look,

How could anyone like me for looks and all.

That's why I say looks isn't everything,

But admit it...

It DOES play a part.

If I could change any one thing about myself, What would it be?

I seriously have a lot of things I would like to change.

Pick one?

Impossible.

I do from right to wrong.

Trust me, I do.

I also know, I think of doing more wrong than right.

Cutting was only the beginning.

Stopping to do so was the hardest part.

But I never break my promises,

Unless something else beat it to a pulp.

However,

It doesn't mean it has ever, 

EVER,

Left my mind.

Neither smoking and shit like that...

My troubles lead to worries,

My worries lead to stress.

Causing my to vomit a lot...

Hardly anyone knows it.

Maybe cause I eat a lot?

Insecurities once more. 

Yeahh, so...

My life's screwed up,

And nobody knows it.

My minds messed up,

And I just keep silent.

My emotions are all fcuked up,

And I cover it with a smile.

Story Of My Life...

-SimplyySarah-